I Surrender: The Affirmation That All Black Women Need
In a society where hustle culture is glorified, how can black women practice just being?
You might have heard the cliché that goes something like, "if it's hard, it's worth fighting for." And yes, we agree that there's a lot of beauty in perseverance and putting effort into what we do and aspire to be (you go, girl!). However, fighting doesn't always mean doing more. This can be a radical idea, especially in a society that connects productivity and success with doing more, having more products, achieving more, more, more. So, what's the alternative?
Here's an invitation to, instead, surrender to what's beyond your control. Let things be, without holding onto the past or an idea of the future, allowing them to unfold in their own time, to come rolling at you as they were always meant to be. Here are some ways to help get you to that state of being in surrender:
🍒 Be mindful when we say "I should, I could, I would"
It can seem small, but using these phrases can be seen as a way that we are holding on to the past. Instead, replace them with stronger expressions of the present and future, such as, "I will, I need, I want."
🍒 Practice saying "yes, and" rather than "yes, but"
“Yes, and”, is an affirmation of value, rather than an expression of resistance or rejection. It's also useful to remember that black people and other marginalized people, may have been so accustomed to hearing/receiving a lot of "yes, buts" throughout our life. And the unlearning and detachment from the word takes practice.
🍒 When it's due (and trust yourself to know when), practice letting go instead of holding on
Surrender presents itself the most when there is an urge to want to control how things pan out in our life or when things didn't go as hoped. Say, "I will hold on to this" and see what that feels in your body. Now, say "I surrender" and compare how that feels in your body. Which one feels lighter in your body?
Do you have any moments of surrender in your life after holding onto something really dearly? How do you manifest and cultivate surrender in your life?
The tips above are derived from the Balanced Black Podcast Ep. 210.
By: Tanita Rahmani, an audio journalist and yoga practitioner.